he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
