I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
