I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
