I will die if light touches me.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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