just come out here and I will go home with you...
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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