dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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