I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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