Swine flu. Run for my life!
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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