did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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