There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize