Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
