I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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