Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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