DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
