I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
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