you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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