I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
