There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I wear drunk well.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
