Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
its not stalking. its research.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
