The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
