i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
