omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
