And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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