his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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