this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
