My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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