i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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