so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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