dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
