and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
