Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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