try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
