yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
