Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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