I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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