the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
