I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
