don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
