bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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