wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
