apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
