I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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