Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
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