While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
