FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
