ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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