so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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