you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Can't talk, ducks in the car
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
