PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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