we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
