I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
