I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
