perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Randomize
