I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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