i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
