I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
