were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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