Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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