my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
His nipple licking is glorious
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