i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
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