you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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