My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
