I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
