i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You don't make any sense
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